


A Song For Someone I Love

by AngstyBunBun



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crushes, M/M, Pining, Secret Love Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28016376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstyBunBun/pseuds/AngstyBunBun
Summary: Hongjoong wasn't very social but he got adopted into a friend group that just so happened to include his crush, Park Seonghwa.
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Kang Yeosang, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 5
Kudos: 148





	A Song For Someone I Love

**Author's Note:**

> Dyslexic sorry for errors  
> folllow my twitter I might post polls there for future stories or say something dumb @/AngstyBunBun

Hongjoong wasn’t the most outwardly social, he wasn’t against it, he just much preferred to be in his home studio working on songs than going anywhere else. He did have a group of friends that, despite being the second eldest, he had been adopted into. It had started with him needing a different style of rapper for a track, which led him to meet Mingi. Mingi, who was so unfairly tall which annoyed Hongjoong, was an absolute sweetheart and an amazing rapper. Mingi then introduced Hongjoong to his ‘best friend’ Yunho. The pair insisted they were not dating but Hongjoong was 99% sure they were at least into each other. Especially with how Yunho was the one to call if Mingi was having a bad time. Hongjoong had once found Mingi in the bathroom of his dorm staring at a wall, he called Yunho when Mingi wasn’t responding. Yunho had shown up ridiculously fast and pulled Mingi into his arms asking him what was wrong, Hongjoong had left them alone. Mingi later explained he just sometimes got overwhelmed by everything and would just blank but Yunho always helped him relax.

Not too long after that incident, Hongjoong was introduced to Yeosang and his boyfriend, Jongho. Now to be fair Hongjoong did kind of know Jongho, he was almost always at the gym when Hongjoong would stop by for his one day of working out a week. Jongho was almost scarily strong, but very kind in helping Hongjoong. The couple was kind of odd when you looked at them, in a good way Hongjoong thought. Yeosang was small and pretty, a flower boy if you would. Jongho, on the other hand, was basically a wall of muscle with a baby face. People assumed Jongho was the ‘in control’ in their relationship, but he really just followed whatever his boyfriend wanted to do. After meeting them Mingi had told him he was trying to introduce him to some of his friends but slowly so he wouldn’t get overwhelmed. It was sweet and Hongjoong did appreciate it, but he did tell Mingi he would be fine to meet the rest together. The other four laughed, telling he didn’t know what he had just asked for. 

Two days after that he was informed that he would meet the last three of the group; Yeosang’s best friend, his boyfriend and the eldest. They had dragged him out of his studio for a lunch, everyone was smirking at him for some reason. Hongjoong was about to ask when he heard a loud, whiny voice which made Yeosang look up to spot the person. The voice sounded like it was outside still, along with someone who was cackling as the person whined that he wanted to keep one more button undone. They came in quieting down some, Yeosang waved them over and once they had sat down Hongjoong was introduced to Wooyoung (the loud whiny one) and his boyfriend San. Wooyoung continued to whine about his shirt being too buttoned up, while San just looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the whole world. Then, much to Hongjoong’s horror, he looked toward the door to see the eldest whom he knew. Park Seonghwa. Literally the most beautiful man Hongjoong had ever seen, top of the grade in test scores, everyone liked him. They only had two classes together and Seonghwa was always sitting near the center and front while Hongjoong was in the back in a corner. Still despite having a slight crush on Seonghwa he never planned to speak to him because, well, he was shy. Hongjoong was trying to act normal because he didn’t think Seonghwa would know him. He was wrong, “Oh! Kim Hongjoong! I have classes with you! I thought it might be you when Mingi said he wanted me to met his friend Hongjoong”

“Oh… Um yeah hi” 

“You don’t participate much in classes, hopefully friendship will be different” Seonghwa said it as a joke, but it kind of hurt. Hongjoong just got nervous in larger groups. He only smiled and laughed lightly.

“I’ll do my best”

  
  


Now it had been a few months since they had all become friends and Hongjoong’s crush had grown. Only now he was more scared to say anything, because now he didn’t want to ruin the little friend group. Still one day when he was flipping through some of the newer lyrics he had written and he realized he could subtly confess by using the lyrics as little anonymous love notes. He knew his handwriting was pretty easy to spot so he printed them off, a sheet of paper one side was small little notes and the other side he had spaced out putting Seonghwa’s name so his name would be on the back of each note. Ever so carefully Hongjoong cut the notes each one had only been one to two lines. Then he waited, he could only put the notes on Seonghwa’s stuff on Friday’s because in their last class together Seonghwa would drop his stuff off early and then run out of the room to get some things he needed to finish for the student board. Hongjoong knew the classroom would be empty and no one would suspect him because Hongjoong ambled into class 2 minutes before it started with headphones in. So the first Friday after he created his notes, Hongjoong sneaks into the class and checks the note before setting it on top of Seonghwa’s book using an eraser to hold it down. 

_The front of my eyes are glittering. You’re like an exploding Starlight, the light that will swallow my heart._

Now that day Hongjoong went to class earlier than normal, still shuffling and with his headphones on. He timed it well, he arrived before Seonghwa, sat down and began working in a new lyric book to make sure no one accidentally saw the notes in his notebooks and told Seonghwa. He still sat in the back and Seonghwa still sat near the front so he was able to watch as Seonghwa came in. Seonghwa sat at his desk and looked at his stuff, a confused look on his face, Hongjoong was briefly worried that he had bothered Seonghwa’s mild OCD by moving his stuff. Seonghwa didn’t seem upset as he picked up the note, he flipped it open, read it then his face went red and he glanced around, Hongjoong ducked his head down to make it seem like he was writing so Seonghwa wouldn’t suspect anything. He didn’t see Seonghwa carefully tuck the note in his book to keep it safe. 

Seonghwa sent a text to their group chat with a picture of the note saying ‘this was on my stuff at last class >///< it’s so cute’. Everyone began cooing over the note and teasing Seonghwa for having a secret admirer, Hongjoong read the text and smiled in his studio. Seonghwa liked the note, it was enough. He had 9 more, no plans to actually confess it was him. Hongjoong just wanted to see Seonghwa be happy from the notes. He flipped through the notes to find which he would use for the next week. 

Another week passed with the group hanging out a couple times and Hongjoong had to keep himself calm while Seonghwa whined about having not recived another note. He really just wanted to give Seonghwa whatever he asked for, which was more notes, but he had a plan he would stick to it. So he waited for the coming Friday, snuck into class and left it in the same place as last time. 

_I just can’t help it myself, yeah the desire toward you is so selfish. Oh yeah, I’m going to that place cause you’re there._

Hongjoong didn’t go to class early that day so when he got in Seonghwa was already pink faced and smiling giddily to himself. Hongjoong smiled as he went to his corner seat happy that he had yet again made Seonghwa happy. Seonghwa once again sent a picture of it to their group chat, Yeosang helpfully supplied that maybe for some reason the admirer could only pass notes on Friday. Then his new worst enemy, Choi San, pointed out they looked like they could be song lyrics. Of course no one suspected him, they began theorizing over which lyricst it could be from this school. Hongjoong muted the chat and sighed realizing he now may have set things in motion for Seonghwa to date someone else, still he wanted to give all his notes. So picked the next one, then Mingi texted him out of the group chat. He asked if Hongjoong had any idea who would have written those lyrics. Hongjoong said he had no idea but whoever it was clearly more into Seonghwa than just his looks, which is good Seonghwa deserves. 

Another week and another Friday where Hongjoong snuck in, but Seonghwa’s stuff wasn’t there. So Hongjoong left and resigned to try again the following week when he saw Seonghwa chatting with someone he didn’t know. Seonghwa’s bag was partially open, the idea to try to slip it into his bag. The hall was crowded so he in theory could do it, he walked toward Seonghwa the not in his hand and carefully set it in the open bag praying that Seonghwa would be able to find it because he didn’t want one to get lost. During the class Seonghwa didn’t seem to have found it, or after when he texted to whine about not getting one. Then finally hours later Seonghwa texted that he found one in his bag, recalling that he hadn’t let his books but he had his bag the whole time so whoever was giving the notes had to have walked right up to him but he hadn’t seen anything suspicious. Then he sent the picture of the note. 

_It’s my greatest happines to spend my day thinking of you._

Seonghwa proceeded to gush about the note, and everyone cooed over it with him. Hongjoong smiled softly and joined in to keep his anonymity for the notes. Once again he received a text, this time from Yunho this time saying they really wanted to figure out who was writing Seonghwa the notes and asking for any leads. Hongjoong said he didn’t really talk to other producers or lyricists and couldn’t help. Hongjoong smiled softly seeing how Seonghwa was still messaging about the notes, Wooyoung suggested that they set up spy missions to try and catch the person. Seonghwa says he doesn’t want to do that because he doesn’t want to scare him off. 

Hongjoong sighs looking at his notes for Seonghwa, he had seven left, and once he was out he didn’t have a plan. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Seonghwa to know it was him, he figured he wasn’t what Seonghwa would want. Hongjoong sighed and popped his headphones on to work on his current project, bopping his head as the beats started up changing and adding things for 5 minutes before his phone lit up with a call from Seonghwa. Hongjoong sighed and paused the music and answered the call, not even able to give a greeting before Seonghwa cheerfully said “We are getting lunch be ready in five!” 

“Hwa, I am trying to finish-”

“I wasn’t asking, you have been spending too much time in that studio of yours and you need some human interaction and so I am coming. Mingi told me your door code so you won’t be able to stop me”

“He wouldn’t-”

“1117,” Seonghwa interrupted and Hongjoong could hear the smirk in his voice and sighed heavily before standing up so he could change out of his pajamas. 

“Can I have 10 minutes instead of 5 at least?” 

“Yes that’s fine, see you in 10 then,” with that Seonghwa hung up and Hongjoong went to get changed. After 10 minutes passed Hongjoong heard his front door open, he quickly pulled on a shirt and turned to see Seonghwa strolling in looking around, mildly disgusted, “It’s filthy in here, Joong. Why don’t you clean up?” 

“Well I don’t usually have people over, Hwa,” Hongjoong grumbled as he picked up some of his dirty clothes that didn’t quite make it into the hamper. 

“I mean that’s fair, but still it’s not good to live like this. You doing okay?”

“I’m fine, Hwa. I promise I’m just messy. Now let’s go eat so I can get back to work”

“Your obsession with work also isn’t good.”

“I didn’t ask, who all is coming?” Hongjoong grabbed Seonghwa’s arm, pulling him out of his apartment and locking the door.

“It’s just us today” Seonghwa smiled and followed him happily. Hongjoong glanced at him feeling the nervousness in his stomach grow. There was no way Seonghwa had figured it out with only 3 notes. Still they went to the diner that was close to campus without much conversation and got seated before Seonghwa spoke again. “I wanted to ask the others but I figured with how distant you’ve been lately it might be better to just be us”

“I’m not being distant, I just want to finish this song” 

“But you need to leave your cave every once and awhile for your mental health. I know you don’t like me as much as the others but even just getting dinner with Mingi would be fine, it worries me when you lock yourself up like that”

“What? I like you. We are friends.” 

“You like me by proxy it’s fine, anyway I will be paying for your meal today so get anything.” 

“Are you sure? I can pay for our food”

“I want to now shush and pick what you want.” Seonghwa scolded. Hongjoong sighed and nodded deciding what he would want, which Seonghwa ordered then they sat quietly for a minute before Seonghwa finally said “I’m sorry I know Mingi and Yunho have been trying to get you to help figure out who has been leaving the notes, they are a little to excited”

“You act like people haven’t written you love letters or confession letters before,” Hongjoong murmured “But also I don’t mind, but maybe it’s better to not know…”

“I mean I have but these are different. Like Sannie said it’s like song lyrics and no one has ever written lyrics about me. Why would it be better to not know?”

“I mean based on how they are giving the notes, maybe they don’t want to be known. It’s all typed so they could be trying to hide their handwriting and then-”

“Why would they give notes if they don’t plan to be known? That’s stupid.”

“They could be shy, or scared but they want you to know someone feels that way about you. And maybe they are scared you won’t like them. You’re kind of intimidating at times” 

“I mean rejection is part of the dangers of confessing to someone but why write notes if you don’t want to confess?!”

“They just want you to know that someone really thinks highly of you” Hongjoong sighed as food was brought out. Seonghwa looked at him then sighed and started eating.

“I just think they should want to end it with telling me.”

“And maybe they will, I was just suggesting you shouldn’t get to set on that idea so you don’t get disappointed if they don’t” Hongjoong sighed and ate. Seonghwa seemed to think for a while as they ate. Hongjoong finished first and waited for Seonghwa.

“I guess you are right. I just… I don’t know, these make me so happy. I want to know who is giving them to me.” Seonghwa explained as he got his wallet and headed to pay, with Hongjoong following. “Even if it isn’t someone I would normally date I think I would give them a chance because they seem so sweet.” Hongjoong nodded, his heart pounding in his chest. Seonghwa led Hongjoong out of the restaurant. “Anyway, thanks for coming out to eat with me. I’ll let you get back to your music. I won’t force you to come out again, at least unless the others say you aren’t going out again”

“It’s fine I didn’t mind-”

“Don’t lie, like I said I know you prefer the others. Anyway, see you in class. Bye” Seonghwa left before Hongjoong could say anything else. Hongjoong sighed and headed back to his apartment, he sat back at his computer and put his headphones on to get back to working on his songs. However he couldn’t focus, he kept thinking about the things Seonghwa had said. How Seonghwa thought he didn’t like him, and how he said he would give the person giving him notes a chance. Hongjoong sat back and looked at his notes again, he sighed he had three that were lyrics from the same song. If he wanted to confess he could play the track for him, and hope that Seonghwa could remember them since they weren’t being given back to back. Despite his nerves he felt like he needed to tell Seonghwa now, since Seonghwa seemed so upset by the idea of never knowing. The first of the paired lyrics were the next he was giving to Seonghwa. Once again on Friday he went into class early to leave the note, which thankfully Seonghwa had left his stuff. Hongjoong left the note and left the room only making it about halfway down the hall before he walked into Jongho. He froze but Jongho only asked him if he had seen Yeosang, because Yeosang had left something he needed for a class at his place. Hongjoong had not so Jongho walked off while texting on his phone. Hongjoong breathed a sigh of relief and went to get a snack. Seonghwa must have gone to class early because the group was sent a picture of the note.

_I’m not alone now. I don’t need a metaphor, cause you’re here to share this vision now._

Hongjoong smiled softly at his phone as Seonghwa realized the notes were counting down with numbers at the bottom. Seonghwa whined that he would only be getting 10 notes from the mystery person, and had already received 4 of them so only 6 more. Hongjoong laughed as he headed back to class barely making it in time, as always. Seonghwa was sat in the front, a pout evident on his face. Hongjoong resisted the urge to take a picture of him, even if he was so adorable. The next three notes got delivered without anything interesting happening between them. 

_I think you’re alone, but I will always stand by you. You don’t have to be afraid, you can leave it to me._

_The star in the night sky reminds me of someone I want to sing a love song for._

_You are dancing with me in the arms of light. For me, you are another night._

However after the last one Hongjoong had gone to meet the others for drinking and dinner. He walked up to them, being the last to arrive and they were already all talking, Seonghwa’s notes on the table. Hongjoong sighed knowing this meant he would have to act like it wasn’t him while they were drinking. Simply so he could give out the final three notes, when he finally got close enough to hear them what he heard made his heart sink. “No, don’t be ridiculous Mingi. Can you imagine Hongjoong writing these for me? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Hongjoong and I being a couple… yeah right” Seonghwa was laughing, Hongjoong was for once glad to be short and somewhere crowded as he turned to leave. 

“I’m just saying I’ve seen his lyrics and these all fit his style” Mingi’s response to Seonghwa’s laughter was the last thing Hongjoong heard before he was far enough away. Hongjoong waited till he was almost home before he messaged everyone that he wasn’t feeling like being out and was going to sleep instead. Yunho whined to him over text about being boring but also told him to take care of himself. Hongjoong skipped the next week's note, he planned to stop them entirely. However Seonghwa was so, so sad that he hadn’t received it. Hongjoong ignored his hurt, but still changed the ninth note quickly. Then he waited for the next Friday to drop it off, deciding to skip the class so he didn’t have to see Seonghwa’s reaction. He didn’t want to see Seonghwa be so happy for a note that he wouldn’t actually want if he knew who it was really from. So he was at home in the studio recording for the song he had planned to show to Seonghwa, he couldn’t just abandon a project half way through even if it would never be used. Seonghwa sent the picture of the note after class, with about 45 heart emojis.

_I will protect you forever so that no sorrow can come. Forever you are my star._

Hongjoong sighed and tossed his phone onto his bed not wanting to see the texts. He finished the song and stared at the last note, lyrics from the song he had just finished, a song he recorded thinking about Seonghwa. He sighed and played the song back, he had titled it Aurora, it sounded pretty. He would have loved to show it to Seonghwa but he knew better now. Seonghwa wouldn’t want to have him confessing, he probably thought whoever was leaving him notes was someone more in his league. Hongjoong sighed and set the note aside and went to his bed curling up in it, this all could have been avoided if he had never met Mingi. He was thinking about slowly pulling away from the friend group, he wanted to be away from Seonghwa for a while. Hongjoong just needed to last a few more weeks so it wouldn’t be suspicious that the notes stopped and he pulled away at the same time. He did stop going out for very long times saying he wanted to get a song done. Then finally it was the Friday for the last note, which Seonghwa was already complaining about. Seonghwa said he wanted whoever it was to confess and then keep writing him cute notes or songs. Hongjoong glared at the message grumbling that it was only like that because Seonghwa didn’t know it was him. Still he left the last note on his stuff, he once again skipped class. Seonghwa sent a picture before the class of the note. 

_Every time I saw the sunset, I was afraid everynight. But I’m not afraid anymore, because you’re in the dark._

  
  


Hongjoong was very determined to avoid Seonghwa for at least a couple days. He managed to avoid him for 2 days, the third day he was laying around listening to Aurora and looking at the few pictures he had on his phone of Seonghwa and himself. The song had been on repeat on his speakers for the last week since he had finished it. He was so focused on the lyrics and his phone he didn’t hear his door open, and didn’t realize anyone was in his apartment until he got up to go get a snack from his kitchen. He walked out of his room to see Seonghwa standing in the entryway frozen as the song played. Hongjoong also froze seeing Seonghwa, Seonghwa looked at him but before he could say anything Hongjoong bolted back to his room, climbing out the window to the fire escape and clambering down before Seonghwa could fully react. Once on the ground Hongjoong just started running, he didn’t know where he was going, all he knew was he had to get away from Seonghwa. He didn’t even have his phone as he had left it on his bed, he didn’t care about it. He went to a nearby park that had a wooded area and went into the woods to hide. Seonghwa was unbeknownst to Hongjoong right on his heels and caught his arm right after they passed the first clump of trees.

“Hongjoong!” Seonghwa pulled him around to face him. Hongjoong attempted to pull his arm away.

“Don’t say anything! I don’t want to hear it again!”

“What? Hear what? Hongjoong…”

“I went to the bar that night… I know you didn’t want the notes to be from me. It's fine I get it. I just don’t need to fucking hear it again. Leave me alone, Seonghwa.” Hongjoong finally managed to pull his arm away as Seonghwa frowned. Seonghwa thought hard for a moment, and for some reason he couldn’t explain Hongjoong couldn’t make himself leave.

“Joongie, I don’t know what you’re talking about? What do you mean I didn’t want the notes to be from you?” 

“You told Mingi there was no way they would be and asked if he could even imagine us dating and like scoffed and said ‘yeah right’. I get-”

“You said you were sick that day. You were there?!” Seonghwa looked shocked then frowned “How much did you hear?”

“Just that and Mingi saying he thought it was like my writing,” Hongjoong frowned “I didn’t need to see or hear more because-”

“Because you made an assumption. I said more than that, that I think you change your mind of what I meant.”

“I don’t-”

“I said that while it did seem like your writing I couldn’t get to hopeful that it was you because you are way too cool to like the nerdy kid.” Seonghwa interrupted looking at Hongjoong with very soft eyes, “I mean. You sing, rap, write music, compose, dance and are smart despite not participating in class. I, on the other hand, am smart and pretty. That’s it so why would someone who is cool and talented like me for more than just my looks? Which if that’s all you like about me it’s fine just… tell me.”

“It’s not! What are you talking about? You are not just pretty and smart. You are kind and funny and just amazing. I’ve heard you sing and seen you dance when you think you are alone you are great at those things and-”

“Okay stop” Seonghwa had turned pink “A-anyway. I like you, a lot. If you want to date I mean like I want to as well. But if you don’t I can stay just-”

“I want to! I was actually planning to confess with that song… I just well… I got nervous after hearing you at the bar”

“Well you shouldn’t have… I mean you can be nervous I shouldn’t tell you how to feel and you are completely valid to feel whatever-” Seonghwa rambles, Hongjoong smiled a little then grabbed the front of Seonghwa’s shirt making him stop eyes widening.

“You talk way to much,” Hongjoong mumbled pulling him closer.

“Then shut me up” Seonghwa said, Hongjoong kissed him. It was soft and slow, Seonghwa made a happy little noise as they kissed. Hongjoong did want to deepen the kiss, slip his tongue into Seonghwa’s mouth and hear him moan, but they were at a park and he could hear children nearby so he pulled back and smiled as Seonghwan whined. “Why’d you stop?”

“Let’s go back to my place and you can hear the whole song, okay?” Hongjoong pulled Seonghwa out of the wooded area.

“Will you kiss me more?”

“Yes, are you going to be constantly needy?”

“Yes.” Seonghwa smiled holding Hongjoong’s hand happily skipping along beside him “I now have the prettiest boy on the whole campus as my boyfriend and so I will need to kiss him all the time”

“You are the prettiest boy on the whole campus Hwa” Hongjoong laughed lightly, as he pulled him inside his apartment. The song was still playing but he took Seonghwa to his room and turned the music off simply to plug headphones. Seonghwa took them and put them on, Hongjoong hit play then sat on his bed to watch as Seonghwa listened. Seonghwa closed his eyes listening with a small smile on his face, the smile grew as he heard the lines from the notes. Hongjoong smiled softly then Seonghwa pulled the headphones, and walked over to him. Seonghwa cupped his face and leaned down to kiss up, Hongjoong rested his hands on his hips and kissed him softly. Seonghwa broke the kiss and sent a quick message on his phone, Hongjoong’s phone lit up and he looked to see Seonghwa had messaged the group chat that Hongjoong had been the one leaving notes on his stuff and they were dating now. Hongjoong smiled and simply sent a heart before pulling Seonghwa back into a kiss. 

Hongjoong never would have thought needing another rapper for a track would have led him to get his crush, but he wasn’t going to ever questio it. Especially when he was much more focused on using any opportunity to kiss Seonghwa’s pretty face. Seonghwa was very excited to show Hongjoong off to anyone who would listen, willing or not. Hongjoong did have some anxiety about their future but his friends had taught him to live more in the moment. Which is what Hongjoong was doing, living every day with Seonghwa as his boyfriend, not worrying about what the future could bring. 


End file.
